Prayer #1: April 9, 2017

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess to You, Father, that I have lived as if I was an atheist for far too long. I know Your desire is for me to be in your family of faith, and I have not been willing to act like I am in that role for a really long time. Erase the desire to live like an atheist from my heart completely. I repent of my attitude of living like an atheist when I am not one at all.┬áI confess also that I have become really good at being extremely┬ájudgmental about the way that other people live their lives. While I recognize that knowing right from wrong is a good thing, in terms of lifestyle choices, but I ask You to totally delete this judgmental attitude in my mind and heart currently. It’s hateful, and if it’s not from You then I don’t want it, Father. I repent of having a judgmental attitude. I confess to You, dear Father, that I am an overly angry girl. I get mad about the most simple things, and I completely blow up over them. I don’t blow up outwardly, Father. I self-mutilate by cutting myself over and over again as a way to transfer my emotional pain to physical pain. Physical pain has always been easier for me to deal with, Father, so I prefer it. I repent of my anger turned inwards, my rage filled heart, and the way I treat the body You knit together when I was in my mother’s womb.

Thank You for waking me up today so that I could use this day to recharge and rejuvenate! I loved the perk of warm weather in my area today, and I liked that it was so warm that I didn’t need a coat. Thank You also for the gift of a shower not interrupted by a fire alarm. Father, my dorm building is notorious for fire alarms, and there is always someone left behind in the shower or other awkward moments at those times. Thank You for not letting that happen to me. Thank You also, Father, for the food options on campus today. I love pasta, and tonight as You know, there was bowtie pasta with delicious marinara sauce at dinner, which I greatly appreciated and enjoyed.

Father, as You know, my brother is a two-time survivor of cancer and is under the age of 21 years old. I ask you to send a fleet of angel armies to protect him, watch over him, and keep him healthy and safe from harm or danger. I don’t know what I’d do without this younger brother of mine in my life, and moreover I don’t know what I did to deserve such a loving and loyal brother as him. I feel honored that You gifted me with him. Thank You. I’d also like to bring up a not as pleasant topic, Father. My boss has a nephew who just lost his mom and is really angry at the world. His idea of playing video games until 1 am and then going to high school during the day doesn’t meet the standards of what others who care about him think. Protect this young man and guard his heart from the Evil One. Anger sometimes triggers the Evil One to act violently and try to take over these kinds of people, but let the power of the Holy Spirit bleed through every pore of this young man’s body and ooze out from every inch of his soul. Let him know that it’s okay to be sad but also not to live like he’s dead just because his mom is. Let him feel Your holy presence in every aspect of his life. Help him. Also Father I would like to ask your blessing on the Phil’s Friends Walk for Hope at the end of April. I would like to ask that You open the hearts of those we reach out to as students, so that we can reap the prayerfully considered financial harvest that Phil’s Friends needs to operate as a nonprofit. I know the impact of Phil’s Friends on cancer patients and their families, since they send cards to my brother all the time as a way to support him through his journey. It is a wonderful organization and I would love to support them any way I can.

I would like to ask at this time for Your blessing to pursue a career with Disney by starting out in the fall and applying to the Disney College Program. I know I’ve done this program before, but this time I want it to be different. I want to succeed at what I do, and I want to create the magic for so many other Guests like it was always created for me. I would like you to help me be patient with myself in finding new jar crafts to learn for the campus craft fair. I am a really huge perfectionist, and that tends to get in the way of things, especially when I’m expected to be patient. I also would love to have You help me be actively involved in making a laundry schedule and sticking to it. If I’m going to live in Florida for the Disney College Program, I’m going to need to do laundry. I need to practice, Father, so please nudge me along in the right path to do so.

In Your Son’s holy name, I pray,

Amen

Goals: For Wednesday

Hello folks!

I’ve been struggling hardcore with life lately and decided that a list of goals for the day will hopefully get me back on track. Whenever I’m depressed or in need of guidance I turn to my goals to get me motivated, so hopefully these goals of mine will help me bounce back because I need to. I have an alumni pizza party at my old high school this Friday evening, and I want to be able to give all those people good news about how I’m doing. If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t like what I’ve become and am in desperate need to change anyway.

If not now, when?

Goals for Wednesday:

  1. Write a Random Act of Noteworthy Kindness (RANK) note
  2. Post for Day 8 of my Bookstagram Challenge
  3. Write my Algren response piece
  4. Inquire about my Motif submission
  5. Create a Writing Chicago work schedule for my revisions and new pieces
  6. Do something kind for myself to practice self-care

For now, that’s about all I realistically can handle. I’ll add more later on, but not now.

Prayerfully yours,

Brooklyn